5 things on learning
1. Green green greening. Every time I lift my head the trees seem more lush & full. The plants keep teaching me about cycles by being themselves, and I am still slow to learn despite their consistency. I can only hope someday I will not need to re-remember that there are times to reach and times to rest. I can keep imagining a world that honors this fundamental, natural truth. I can imagine a self that finally stops forgetting.
2. We learn by doing, through practice. Theory only goes so far. I've learned how to be in conflict by being in conflict, how to manage boundaries by managing boundaries, and sometimes, by doing so very ineffectively until I learned to do it better. There's a term in one of my somatic lineages (Strozzi, thanks to my teacher Carey Smith) that helps a lot: Generative Conflict. Conflict presents opportunities, if we allow for it, if we can stomach a potential change in our view of another, or the world.
3. We can start in the middle, and come around to the beginning again, and again back to the middle. Practices are adaptable, changeable. Just like us.
4. Ummm, and by the way, I mean so much more than our zeitgeist-y current level understanding of boundaries as a method of self or space protection, I mean the physical, emotional, energetic, intentional, attention-al ways that we connect and differentiate. The overt and the subtle. Conscious and semi- and sub-. Verbalized and embodied. And everywhere in between.
5. If we are in relationship long enough, we will disappoint each other. To be more accepting of my capacity to fall short is a welcome loosening of ego, control, and - if I am more truthful and use the word I really mean - dominance. The semi-conscious desire to be seen a certain way? Dominance. Perfectionism? Dominance. We have learned to do this to ourselves as well as each other. My younger self could not imagine not taking things so personally, and it is so incredibly freeing. Accountability has generally not been my issue as I - yes, I know, this tracks - am known to take more than my fair share of responsibility. Related, somehow: As a friend said this week regarding relational challenges: we can't have liberation because we can't do this [conflict] yet. Yes. Also, also, key word YET. Practice, practice. That's really it. Just keep trying. Keep opening to the vast possibility beyond what we think we know. There is a little letterpress card on my board from Ecotone Magazine, by Malinda Maynor Lowery (yes I am fed by the name symmetry of this wise historian who - in a greater and more foundational symmetry, is a member of the Lumbee tribe, whose land I am on.) It says: Admit. Atone. Act. Rest. Repeat. Wise guidelines. Critical - and compassionate - self-reflection is key.
A glimpse of my bulletin board: Letterpress Card from Ecotone Magazine that says: “Admit. Atone. Act. Rest. Repeat.” by Malinda Maynor Lowery of the Lumbee tribe. Little Mel. An image of frosted flowers from a dear friend.
